I got this e-mail from a friend today. Somehow Heavenly Father knows when I need to hear something like this. Lately I have felt like a maid, nose wiper, errand runner, etc. just wondering what my purpose was. I now feel more grateful for the opportunity to do these things!
The invisible MOM!
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way
one of the kids walks into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be
taken to the store. Inside, I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see
me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: 'Can you fix this?' 'Can
you tie this?' 'Can you open this?' Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm
not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a
satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to
order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes
that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now
they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
'She's going, she's going, she's gone!'
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and
she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there,
looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to
compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress;
it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was
pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut
butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book
on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it
to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building
when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover
what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could
pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no
record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they
would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God
saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to
visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a
tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why
are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied,
'Because God will see.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost
as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the
sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of
kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is
too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great
cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.' At times, my
invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is
erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness.
It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right
perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who
show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something
that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever
be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son
to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom
gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand
bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.'
That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him
to want to come home. Then, if there is anything to say to his friend, it
could be, 'You're gonna love it here!' As mothers, we are building great
cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is
very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built,
but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of
invisible women.
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4 comments:
I've had that "invisible mom" feeling too. Sometimes I feel like ANYONE could do what I do, so what's so special about that? It's getting better...like your story said. I am realizing the little things I do add up to big things that will impact my kids lives...the good and the bad. It's not easy for me...but I guess it's not supposed to be.
I love ya and think you are a great mom!
Do you know if your baby is a boy or a girl yet???
WOW! i LOVE that!! that's a story all mom's need from time to time. thank you for sharing. :o)
I love it. We do so much that seems unnoticed! Thanks!
Those words are exactly what I needed to hear! Thanks for sharing!!
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